Hello friends! Welcome back to another blog post!
Today I wrote a little short story for you guys:
“No, you don’t understand. I am tired of doing this over and over again,” says Faith forcefully.
“Doing what? I’m just trying to figure out what exactly is going on,” says her boyfriend, Luke.
“Listen, I’m done doing this over and over again. I feel like things are being put on me when they’re not my fault. If you really honestly feel like they are and we have to circle back to this conversation again, then what am I still doing in this relationship?” Faith breathes out a frustrated sigh and rubs her temples.
“Oh…okay. Well, I’m going to let you go. I’ll talk to you later. I love you,” Luke says sadly.
“…Okay. Fine. If you want to talk later call me. I love you too,” Faith says with an edge in her tone.
Faith ends the call and clenches her fists. She’s seething in anger. Why doesn’t he understand? Why do they keep having the same conversation over and over again? Can’t he understand her pain and frustration on the topic? Does he not care? Are we actually done? These questions come flooding into Faith’s mind. She can’t find answers fast enough. All she sees is heartache and anger.
She decides to send Luke a quick text starting to explain her feelings and reminding him that she really does love him. But he doesn’t respond. Faith, still being heated gets even more frustrated with the situation with his lack of response. She tosses her phone to the side angrily and goes about her day. It’s not until Faith calms down a while later that the magnitude of the situation hits her.
Faith knows she’s a very emotional being and she isn’t sorry for that. How she sometimes lets those emotions affect her is what she is sorry for. Faith tends to act before she really thinks. She often lets her emotions take over in situations. Now this isn’t bad when it comes to positive emotions and happy situations but when they’re the negative emotions, it’s not always so great, like now.
Oh man. I really screwed up. I feel like crap. And if I feel this bad, Luke can only be feeling worse. How am I going to fix this, Faith asks herself.
She knows a “I’m sorry” is too simple and doesn’t feel like it’s quite good enough or big enough for this situation so she thinks about it.
Faith knows that her apology has to come straight from the heart so she pours her heart out the best way she can, through her writing. She attempts to convey her remorse for her actions and how important her boyfriend is to her through her words. And she wrote:
I need to lead a little more with my brain rather than my heart as much. I know that it’s okay to be emotional because you tell me that all the time and I really do believe it. But what’s not okay is to let me being emotional hurt others, just like I hurt you today. I would be absolutely lost without you. My world would be a lot darker. It wouldn’t have the magical glow that it does now. I wouldn’t have some of the best times in my entire life because of you. My dark days would have lasted a lot longer if it weren’t for you. I’m sorry I act irrational at times. I’m sorry that I let the negative feelings takeover. I just feel and I care so deeply for you and about it. I love you. I know this doesn’t make my actions right, but it’s a start.
Faith finishes her thoughts and rereads them just to make sure they are exactly what she’s trying to convey and hesitantly hovers over the send button. You’ve both been through so much together. You guys got this. It will be okay. You two have so much more to experience together. He loves you, Faith told herself. And with that she hit send.