Road Blocks and Guilt

See what I’ve done to myself now

Sunday afternoon I threw my back out. Pulling laundry out of the hamper. I swear it wasn’t anything more exciting than that. Plus this is like the fourth or fifth time in my life that I have done this. And I’m 24 years old. Terrible right?

Well it seems that every time that I throw my back out it gets harder and harder to recuperate from it. And this time it’s the longest it’s ever been. It’s Wednesday and I’m still struggling but it is getting better every single day.

Of course this can’t come at a worse time for me personally. I’m trying to prepare for the holidays, working overtime at work, making new products for my shop and trying to make my products for the sales I’ve been making! Plus this time of year really tends to get me down for personal reasons I’m not going to air right now. I hope you all understand.

This also has been taking it’s toll on my writing. I have pretty much just been living in my bed and watching TV or reading after I get off work because it’s the only thing that can take my mind off the pain.

The guilt that I have been feeling lately is not helping either. I feel guilty because I psychically can’t do something or need help and it sucks. I know I shouldn’t because I can’t help it but I do. Thankfully my mom has been wonderful in helping me where she can with things to make it a little less but it still sucks not being able to do something.

I put so much on myself and try to put so little on to others that when I do need help because I’m in a position where I physically am incapable it brings me way way way down.

So I’m taking a few days and I’m going to rest and get better and help heal my body and mind. That way I can come back better for my work and hopefully come back with more new and great things.

Stay classy and sassy<3

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Lord, Help me…

Blocks suck.

Hello and welcome back guys!

We made it through another week! Woo-hoo. Pats on the back for everyone.

So today, my post is late. Way later than usual. And it sucks.

I have a reason for it being late and that’s because I’m having a creative block. I had a high and I shared that all with you guys and I wanted to do some writing to share with you guys today but everything isn’t to my liking or to at least my willing to share it with you guys standard.

And I’ve been writing a lot today and yesterday.

Blocks suck. But they happen. I just gotta push through it by continuing to write and flush it out and re-work my words and re-organize my ideas and all that.

Now why I’m not sharing some other project is because I haven’t done one 😦 No drawing or craft because I haven’t had the time. Or rather I haven’t tried to make the time because now my nerves are kicking in and I’m getting scared! Ah! But it’s all about pushing myself through it. I can do it. I mean I’ve done so much that I’ve been absolutely terrified to do this past year so I CAN DO ANYTHING! (That’s me shouting it from the roof tops!)

Basically this is my lame attempt to not leave you guys hanging and to explain why I don’t have a super cool and kind of amazing post today.

Hopefully this weekend will be good for me. I get to spend time with my muse (Mathew). As lame as it is his cute butt inspires me a lot creatively. So let’s all keep our fingers crossed.

And to say I have a block is a real and true thing. I have struggled so much with just writing this post. OMG. What is going on with me?!

Stay classy and sassy guys!

 

Trying New Things

Directional shift of the blog!

Hello and welcome back y’all!

Let’s take care of a little bit of business real quick here. So Monday I hit a milestone… 100 POSTS! What?! 100. Posts. Holy crap that is so many. Wow. I can’t believe it. I would have never thought that I would be at this point. Especially because I was terrified to take the leap to start this blog. But I’ve done it. Here we are! And I want to thank you all for it. I couldn’t have done it without your support. You guys reading my content are the reason why I continue to do this. So thank you.

I know that lately I’ve been doing more creative things instead of my “typical” content. To be completely honest I’ve been enjoying it a lot more. It’s been a struggle but in a completely different way rather than what I was doing before. It’s causing my creative juices to flow and to flow a lot more. With that being said I’ve been wanting to try some new things in the creative sense.

I officially want to try to being a creative blogger. I don’t know exactly what that is going to entail but that’s what I want to be. I want to challenge myself creatively. With my writing, my crafts and drawing.

Woah, wait, crafts and drawing?

Yeah.

I want to start drawing more and sharing those with you. Good or bad. Hopefully they’re good. For my sake! Ideally I’d share my drawings and either together or completely me, make a short story or poem or some sort of writing along with it. Or it be stand alone work. These are all just ideas being thrown out here.

As far as crafts go, I’d really enjoy sharing my journey of making things and exploring new crafting types, like crochet, refinishing things, sewing, cross-stitching, etc. It’d be fun. Or terrible. I will be showing my success AND my fails. So be ready for some frustrated posts! 😛

What do you guys what to see? What do you suggest I do or try? Like these ideas? (If I hear nothing I will assume you all LOOOOOVE these ideas!)

Stay classy and sassy ❤

 

Friday Reflection

My thoughts on the last couple weeks.

Hello guys and welcome back!

So Fridays seem to be one of my most difficult days to publish lately. It’s hard to get myself to just sit down and write and post. The easy fix, I know is to do it ahead of time and just schedule when my posts are going to go up but I’m not quite there yet in the productivity department 😉

I think today would be a good day to just reflect on the last couple weeks, especially since I have myself sitting down and writing. For now. 😛

Today marked the end of my second week in my new job. So was I too soon in saying how happy I was and how much I loved it? Nope. Not at all. I fortunately am working for the same company I was before but in a completely different department. It’s exciting. A very much needed change and a welcomed change of pace. My hours are set for the first time in quite a while. I have weekends off, every single weekend. Now that is something I am trying to get used to! The work is great. I feel like I have a lot of power to make changes and help the company as well as others but at the same time very little power. It’s weird, I know. But that’s the best way I can explain it without saying what I do for a living. Which I won’t, for personal reasons 🙂 But I really enjoy the people I work for and work with. I feel that I’m already fitting in and I’m beyond happy every single day that I leave work. Which is just the best feeling ever. That and the added energy that I have.

Enough about that.

So the other night I had the absolute pleasure of getting together with a lot of the people that I used to work with in Dayton. Now I don’t think we have all ever been in the same place at the same time ever. But like 95% of us finally got together and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. Now these people were my family for 3 years and I am also lucky enough to call them my friends. Being able to catch up with one another and relive the “glory” days was the best. They are some of the most beautiful souls I have had the pleasure of meeting and working both for and with. I would share the amazing picture we took but I want the also respect their privacy of not being plastered on my blog ;P

Overall I just feel a relief in the last couple of weeks. A relief from a lot of the burden I felt that I had been carrying. A relief from the sadness and anxiety I had been struck with. A relief from the stress that had been plaguing me.

I also have been feeling incredibly humbled and blessed with everything I have been able to experience, do, achieve, and have in the last couple weeks as well as in general. It’s funny how when you’re going through it a lot of the time, I know myself is guilty of this always, but we can’t appreciate or understand it. Once it’s passed us by that’s when we realize it wasn’t that bad or it really was greater than we thought, etc. I know that I realized that about the “crap” I had been going through before this life change.

Which is why I think it’s important that I’m reflecting on it.

To put it out there for myself and others, both going through it with me or going through their own. Always reflect and be open and honest about it. You may completely surprise yourself, I know I have.

Stay classy and sassy guys<3

OH HAPPY DAY!

I GOT A NEW JOB! Finally.

Hello there and welcome back!

Okay, so if you’re friends with my on Facebook or follow me on Twitter or anything then you would know.

I GOT A NEW JOB!

It was something that was very very much needed.

I’m day two into my job and I absolutely love it. I feel so fortunate and blessed to been given the opportunity that I have now.

I think it sounds silly but having a mundane desk job makes me so incredibly happy compared to the day-to-day random-ness of a retail-like setting.

The people I work with seem incredibly nice, friendly, supportive and genuine.

And my boss is exactly what I was looking for in a boss.

Guys, I don’t think you understand. I have not been this happen in all facets of my life for a good while.

I’m smiling when I go to work, when I’m at work, and when I leave work. ALL GENUINE.

This is amazing. And life changing.

Y’all don’t understand. I can have a life again. This job is going to, and does, give me so much balance to my life. I don’t have a crazy schedule. I don’t work weekends. I’m off work by 4:30pm. I go in at 8:00am. It’s so so so much.

I forgot what it was honestly like to feel this happy at work again.

Find this. Chase it. You can get it. Never stop until you’re really happy. In all areas of your life.

Stay classy and sassy guys<3

Matsuricon 2017!

A little little bit about my con experience

Hello and welcome back! Unfortunately due to some poor planning and equally poor time management, I didn’t get a post up on Friday. And for that I am sorry!

Matsuricon 2017 has come and gone but was a lot of fun! I am very glad to have been able to attend and to attend with Mathew.

We had a lot of fun. And I bought a lot of stuff. (What a surprise!) I BOUGHT MY FIRST TWO FIGURES! I am so scared too. We all know when I get into something its ALL OR NOTHING!

I do have to say that I was a little sad because artist alley and the dealer’s room both felt bare. Come to think of it, most of the convention felt that way. It didn’t seem like there were as many vendors, artists, attendees or panels as years before.

The panels Mathew and I did attend were all great and the artists and vendors that were there were amazing!

The con’s guests were great. Nice and friendly with one exception. Lauren Landa. That is all I am going to say on the topic. I logged a complaint with the con and I am thoroughly disappoint by how this ADULT and professional acted this weekend and how I was treated by her. People look up to these individuals and her behavior was inexcusable.

Now back to the good stuff.

I got to see my friends! AND I MADE A NEW FRIEND! Oh that is one of the best things about cons, friends and making new friends. Its a great place to meet those who have similar interests as you which is perfect for friends!

I also saw a crap ton of great cosplayers! I didn’t take pictures this year because I was just so busy with everything else to get much of a chance! That and I felt pretty shy this year for the most part. Weird. I know.

Well I hope any one else that was there had a fantastic time and the rest of you who weren’t there had a safe and happy weekend!

Stay classy and sassy!

Great News!

Hello guys,

I’ve done a terrible job at balancing things. I know. But in great news, I think that should be (mostly? partially?) solved. Some things in my personal life that I don’t want to get into too much detail just yet, have changed. New opportunities have presented themselves to hopefully fulfill me in different ways and challenge me in others. Which has taken a load of worry, sadness, and anger away.

Another thing is, I am trying to look at things in a different way. I really am trying to get right with myself in a multitude of ways and trying out different ideas and some are showing some real signs of helping and working already. Which is crazy because it’s been such a short time.

The biggest thing is, I’m feeling better.

Which is huge with all that I’ve been feeling lately. I want to thank you all for being kind, patient and understanding while I deal with this all and work on me.

I promise things will be getting back to normal here shortly.

Stay classy and sassy<3